Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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