Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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