oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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