my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Floor bacon is actually really good
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
