I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
