HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
