I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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