When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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