yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
