Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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