im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
