There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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