This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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