remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
