All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
