in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
