I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
