Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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