just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
