her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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