i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
