goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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