Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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