dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.