just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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