Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
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I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.