Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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