My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
