girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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