i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
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I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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