I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
