very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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