is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
