If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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