I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This is the high leading the old right now
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
