OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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