I wanna bring you to show and tell
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
