Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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