What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
