your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Watching her eat just hurts me
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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