i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
