rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
