I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize