we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
