Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i think i just lost a toe
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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