This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
