Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
