I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize