i think i have two assholes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
