She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
