Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
