just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
