she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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