just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
