If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My ass is underappreciated
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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