what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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