I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
