NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
