she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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