3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
