Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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