if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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