i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
