So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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